November

11/29 - "When playing baseball, don’t swing at every pitch. You’re not going to hit a home run anyway."

11/27 - "If you own a website where fans expect daily updates, you shouldn't wait a week to change it."

11/22 - "Don’t hit other cars on the freeway. Even if it’s 'just a joke'."

11/21 - "If you're ever a new police officer, be careful when learning how to direct traffic. It takes a lot of skill to keep from directing the cars straight into yourself." Kim, Provo UT

11/19 - "If you're going to rip someone's heart out, you probably shouldn't wear white gloves." (G)

11/18 - "Always wear two layers of clothes. Then if you fall in some water, you have extra clothes."

11/16 - "Sometimes talking to someone on the phone is just like talking face to face, but most of the time, it is just like talking to a piece of plastic." (G)

11/15 - "To make your dentist appointments really fun: ditch them and go to parties."

11/14 - "Earwax doesn’t taste that good."

11/13 - "The next time you go climbing through caves, a good idea would be to get naked and pretend like you're a native." (A)

11/12 - "Have you ever realized how addictive the internet is? If you're reading this, I'm talking to you buddy." (G)

11/11 - "Next time you want to kill your teacher, realize that it may negatively affect your grade." (G)

11/9 - "Only go out to a new restaurant after multiple friends give positive reviews. (And none of them got sick.)"

11/8 - "Hot coals do wonders for sore feet. Wait, I mean massages."

11/7 - "Don't think you get a 2nd chance at a first impression, because you don't. Unless someone gets amnesia."

11/6 - "If you can’t use a stick shift, don’t buy a car with manual transmission - it will probably be a waste of money."

11/5 - "Next time you're found picking up the pieces of your shattered life, maybe you'll see the wisdom in choosing plastic over glass." (G)

11/4 - "If two friends want to know who you like more, just choose one of them, and give the other friend ten bucks. (This makes up for it.)"

11/3 - "The next time you order pizza, don't give the pizza guy a twenty when it only costs 12 dollars. I found out that pizza guys are trained to flee the scene with as much money as possible." (A)

11/2 - "As you vote today, ask yourself which would make a better pet -- an elephant or a donkey, and realize that no matter which one you pick you'll have to deal with a lot of crap." (G)

11/1 - "Whenever you meet someone, give him a fake name. That way, they can't find you to get back that money you borrowed."