December

12/29 - "You shouldn’t expect a kid to ride a bike perfectly on the first try. Scraped knees are coming."

12/27 - "Don’t drive to someone’s house to see if they’re home, just call. Unless they live close."

12/26 - "When finals roll around next semester, remember this semester and how studying didn't help anyway. Maybe instead learn to paint." Kimberly, Provo UT

12/20 - "Always wear a harness when climbing tall things, like fences."

12/18 - "You remember that saying where you shouldn't count your chickens before they lay eggs? Well you shouldn't." (A)

12/16 - "Having a picnic and watching the clouds go by is a good date. Just don’t screw it up."

12/15 - "If people from Utah are called Utahns, what are people from Tampa called?" (G)

12/14 - "Why hasn't anybody invented three-ply toilet paper yet? It has to be better than two-ply!" (G)

12/13 - "Don’t hit yourself in the head with a hammer."

12/11 - "Don’t always get everything for your guests, they might get used to having a slave."

12/10 - "Sometimes I think the greatest discovery would be to show to the world that snowflakes are really tiny little worlds with even smaller little people on them, but just as I'm about to go outside and prove it, I think, 'Hey, what are you doing going outside? Snow is cold!' Oh well, maybe next year." (G)

12/9 - "If you ever get in an argument, don't use facts to prove a point. Just resort to name calling."

12/8 - "There are no excuses for not updating a daily tip site. Except maybe food poisoning with violent, projectile vomiting." (G)

12/3 - "Follow me on this: Sometimes I think of the miracle of life; that causes me to think of the birds and the bees; bees make me think about honey; it says on the honey jar never to feed it to babies; therefore, babies shouldn't be a part of the miracle of life; and -- where was I going with this?" (G)

12/2 - "Always mow the lawn with shoes on. Or be real careful."

12/1 - "Never pee on a fence that says, 'HIGH VOLTAGE.'" (A)